first draft.....blanks to fill in

tidal waves
over unmarked graves
i am ghostly, lonesome
like dreams gone from waking
like breath for the taking
but never gone

to my surprise
i all but died

if you can not find the albatross
you can ask the cormorant
which way i went
i swear he knew it when
he saw his own skin
in the light

on the water
as shadows
they sailed away
to new names
my sons my daughters
my Black Hawk
blind and shamed

if you can not find the albatross
you can ask the cormorant
which way i went
i swear he knew it when
he saw his own skin
in the light

all our ashes


they have come to burn us down
raze each temple to the ground
with all of the casting done
remember to cut out your tongue
plant it in the good earth, there,
below the rain and sun
underground, below the light
the buds grow from eternal night


what they don't know
is that the fire that they grow
shines the light, the light
that casts the shadow


all our ashes in the haven

(no subject)

hearts murmur...they whisper in the tiny spaces between their beats.
here in the blue breath of winter while the wind bites my shoulder, my heart sings... .. .
soft, incoherent, and melancholy.
the moon is full.
the air lays itself over the city like glass and the night is still.
my heart hums.

siren - in progress...

todays rainy song...still in progress....accompanied thus far only by wind rain and intermittent glockenspiel.
archived here for the memory bank.

i am the siren singing
calling on the sea
to wash ashore with him
to satiate this need

sure as i loved the river man
sure as he stole my heart
left it at the bottom
of the oceans deep, deep dark
deep, deep dark

i'll sing until my dying day
sing for the loves i've known
sing for the beat that burdens me
in the oceans turbulent moans

i sing for the sky, and the moon up above
and the howl that will accompany
is for the far reaching stars, and the light that they shine
that is a comfort to me
in the deep, deep dark
the deep, deep dark

i am the siren singing
calling on the sea
to wash ashore with him
to satiate this need

until the return of my bleeding heart
a hunger for the flesh of man
who could fish it from the deepest depths,
and deliver me from the promised land of the deep, deep dark?
the deep, deep dark

voting for dreams

As of 9am voting for the Peak Performance Project is open at http://www.peakperformanceproject.com . I could be the lucky gal with $100,500 to put towards the realization of more melodies and dreams. You can help! One vote per IP address leads the way. ♥

Stay tuned for some special secret happenings.....

Sweet dreams, dearies, sweet dreams,

Jess Hill

paint with the blood

loosen the tourniquet,
paint with the blood,
that's how to deal with a broken heart.
let things flow.
let go of what you think you know, or what you've learned.
enter every conversation with hope and open-heartedness.
allow yourself to be surprised by your ex, strangers and your mother.
sleep in the middle of the bed.
choose happiness at all costs.

good night, world.
sweet dreams.

Things She Told Herself

...finding words in old journals that seem so timely.

Excerpts from entries spilled in the last year and a half.


she remembers romance

her shelves dusty with the pollen of it's decay

it's shadows caressing her walls

a still life for love

a collection of artifacts carefully catalogued

a legal size manila envelope for all those letters that were really meant to burn

still, she remembers romance and

she waits for it's return


i want you to remember that place in the small of my back

i want you to reach for it, to touch me into arousal

and like your hunger, is my hunger, is our hunger

i want you to take my mouth in yours

to hover moistened before the plunge,

the anticipated immersion, and

the beautiful lingering

i want your body to rest atop of mine

i want the weight of being

and when i'm gone

i want your hands to trace the air behind my movements

as though they were a part of me that had fallen behind, my hair blown by the breeze

i want our bodies to lose track of where you begin and i end

our tangling limbs interchangeable

our minds intersecting parallels

our blood pumping with the pulse of one heart


my heart matches the season

i am spring in it's first bright hues

i am peeking out to feel the last days of cold on my fleshy pink petals

so that i can simply have known the experience

i am pushing through the soil to raise my chin to the sun

as it tilts to conjure the warmth every flower before me has known

the present risks are frost and drought but i push through believing the perfect balance exists

i am continually making decisions from a place of hope

i hope to know myself more deeply

i hope to not harden from the heart out

i hope to keep my palms to the sky

i hope to know the loves of my lifetime

i hope to continue choosing this

my faith growing be it in me, him

love is not meant to be understood

love is meant to be explored for all it's mutating and expansive properties


I will remember this.


(no subject)

Scorpio Horoscope for week of July 16, 2009
Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
There goes your exaggerated respect for warped chunks of complications. Here comes an opportunity to make a break for bubbly freedom. To take advantage, Scorpio, you'll need to travel much lighter. So please peel off your armor. Wipe that forty-pound sneer of doubt off your face. Bury your broken-down theories by the side of the path, and donate all your unnecessary props to the birds and the bees. Strip down, in other words, to the bare minimum. Where you're going all you'll need are your good looks and a big fresh attitude.

(no subject)

Scorpio Horoscope for week of June 25, 2009
Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Congratulations, Scorpio. You've reached the end of the Big Squeeze. You've served your time in the bottleneck. And so I invite you to relax your pinched expression, loosen up your puckered expectations, and let the Season of Experiments begin. According to my projections, you will soon be receiving a host of invitations to wander into the frontier with your raw sense of wonder turned up all the way. Please research each invitation thoroughly before choosing. When you've decided which adventures are most likely to enhance your understanding of the art of liberation, dive in.